Baby Killer

9 January 2010

2010-01-09T16:00:00.001-08:00

Finished laminate floor, installed cabinets in third floor kitchen. Another 1/4 of stairway baseboards and railing painted.

8 January 2010

2010-01-09T06:54:00.000-08:00

WTS application in the morning. Painted another 1/4 of stair railing. Fabricated and installed third floor shower rod. Trimmed door and re-installed hardware. Finished transition to laminate at top of stairs.

7 January 2010

2010-01-08T09:31:00.000-08:00

Set shower base into mortar and left to cure. Installed third floor bathroom medicine cabinet/vanity mirror and kitchen wall cabinets. Painted fire escape ladder cover.

6 January 2010

2010-01-07T04:18:00.000-08:00

Installed sink and vanity base in third floor bathroom. Prepared subfloor and plumbing for shower base. Painted 1/2 of the stair railing.

5 January 2010

2010-01-05T16:20:00.000-08:00

Installed another 1/3 of kitchen floor. Built 9 cabinets. Got Chrysler back from mechanic and shopping trip.

4 January 2010

2010-01-05T16:16:00.000-08:00

Installed vinyl plank flooring in third floor bathroom. Finished leveling kitchen subfloor and installed 1/3 of the laminate flooring in the kitchen. Involved removing and re-installing two radiators. Painted odds and ends.

2 January 2010

2010-01-02T16:33:00.000-08:00

Troweled mortar into low spots in third floor bathroom. Vacuumed and leveled kitchen (sub)floor. Put snow tires on truck and took a trip to the mechanic about the Chrysler.

1 January 2010

2010-01-01T16:18:00.000-08:00

Painted two coats on third floor kitchen and bathroom walls. Installed ceiling vent in bathroom. Prepped and painted fire escape cover. Cut out and caulked access panel to bathroom plumbing. Mounted two fire alarms and sanded corners of second floor countertop.

31 December 2009

2010-01-01T06:12:00.000-08:00

Caulked third floor kitchen and bath, second coat of primer where needed, painted ceilings, doors and trim. Glued two end pieces to second floor countertop.

30 December, 2009

2009-12-30T16:09:00.000-08:00

Sanded final coat of joint compound in 3rd floor kitchen and bathroom. Swept and vacuumed. Painted walls, ceiling and trim of both rooms with primer/stainblocker. Shopping trip and dropped Chrysler off for timing belt and water pump.

To: Rebecca

2008-05-30T16:11:00.000-07:00

Walter took her little hand and kissed it as if she had been a princess. Molly blushed, but did not take her hand from him. Walter might do what he liked with her ugly little hand! It was only to herself she called it ugly, however, not to Walter! Anyhow, she was wrong--her hand was a very pretty one. It was indeed a little rough with work, but it was gloved with honor! It would be good for many a heart to have hands that were so spoiled! Human feet get a little broadening with walking; human hands get a little roughened with labor. But what does it matter! There are others--after like pattern but better finished--being invisibly made, and ready by the time these are worn out, for all who have not shirked the work put before them."

-George MacDonald

George MacDonald (highlight to read)

2008-04-26T15:52:00.000-07:00

For when a man is in love, what of poetry there is in him as well as what there is of any sort of good thing will rise to the surface. In love every man shows himself better than he is, though, thank God, not better than he is meant to become.

2008-04-13T16:04:00.001-07:00

“They shall see His face, and His name shall be on their foreheads.”

This verse unsettles me. As I was reading the last chapter of Revelation several days ago my eyes caught on it, as though I had been running along across the pages and unexpectedly stumbled. There was something surprising and frightening about it. Don’t get me wrong—I believe I will die someday. And, though it is somewhat more foggy, I also believe that I will be in heaven someday. These are words and concepts I am used to; they are theoretical. When I say that “I” will be in heaven someday I don’t actually picture myself there, I imagine a glorified spirit or some other such thing with my name. This verse says something less difficult to get used to: I will see God in the flesh. You will see Him, too.
I have been reading in Job recently. I turned back and re-read his famous desperate declaration, “this I know, that in my flesh I shall see God, whom I shall see for myself, and my eyes shall behold, and not another.”

Yeah, it’s like that. :)
It may not be until after this mortal has put on immortality yet nevertheless I, and not another will see God. We will be together, you and I, and we will see Him face to face, and His name will be written on our foreheads. It will not be someone else with my name—in the future I will stand before him and remember my life in the past tense as a finished work, and I will meet my Creator and Redeemer and He will brand me as his own.

Consider how close at hand these events are! Even as you read this you have not read my words, but the testimony of an eye witness. Only four verses later the apostle John wrote, “Now I, John, saw and heard these things. And when I heard and saw, I fell down to worship….” At the end of the chapter Jesus Himself speaks, declaring, “Surely I am coming quickly.”

As I wondered what these things meant another question came to mind: What will I say, when I meet God? Of course on that wonderful and dreadful day I will fall down and worship, as John did, but that first glimpse will be only the beginning. Will we sing praises and throw crowns only? Adam and Eve talked with God in the cool of the day. Abraham believed God, we read, and it was accounted to him for righteousness, “and he was called the friend of God.” Moses spoke with God inside the cloud of His presence. Enoch and Elijah did not die but were caught up to heaven, for they had this testimony, that they pleased God.
What did they say, these men of God, when they talked with Him? I can understand them listening to God, but what could a man possibly have on his mind that would interest God? Supposing God opened the heavens right now and I saw Him on His throne—would I not fall down and call out a curse on myself, as Isaiah? Suppose God lifted me up and rebuked my accuser. Suppose he put white robes on me and a clean turban, and touched my lips with a burning coal from the fire, what then? Surely I would be ready to prophesy and give Him glory and honor, but what would we TALK about? In what way could we be called friends, as Abraham, or speak in conversation, as Adam and Moses? Even if I were pure would God learn from my wisdom, or be interested in my observations?
We are said to be God’s children—perhaps he bears with our weak minds and small abilities as a parent delights in his child’s first attempts at speech. He loves us now and listens to our earnest prayers but He looks forward to the relationship he will have with us when we are no longer children, when we are glorified and able to stand in his presence. He nurtures, he teaches, and patiently waits for us to grow up. Through His word and Spirit we are growing now, and there will be all of eternity for us to study Him and continue to mature in wisdom and knowledge.

IF

2008-02-24T13:30:00.001-08:00

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

More Spurgeon

2007-08-18T02:19:00.000-07:00

As a rule, I try not to get convicted by sermons on witnessing and evangelism. Wry and ironic as that statement is, there is some truth to it. It's never good to increase one's knowledge of holiness without its practice and when it comes to evangelism I've all but accepted the idea that I will never be a practitioner. No sense in feeling guilty about something that's not going to change! Be that as it may, here are some convicting words from Going Home, a Christmas Sermon:

"Go home to thy friends, and tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had compassion on thee." Mark 5:19

[Spurgeon's first points are to tell the story truthfully and humbly.] Next, tell it very earnestly. Let them see you mean it. Do not talk about religion flippantly; you will do no good if you do. Do not make puns on texts; do not quote Scripture by way of a joke: if you do, you may talk till you are dumb, you will do no good, if you in the least degree give them occasion to laugh by laughing at holy things yourself. Tell it very earnestly.
And then, tell it very devoutly. Do not try to tell your tale to man till you have told it first to God. When you are at home on Christmas day, let no one see your face till God has seen it. Be up in the morning, wrestle with God for them; and then you will find it easy work to wrestle with them for God. Seek, if you can, to get them one by one, and tell them the story. Do not be afraid; only think what good you may possibly do. Remember, he that saves a soul from death hath covered a multitude of sins, and he shall have stars in his crown for ever and ever. Seek to be, under God, saviours in your family, to be the means of leading your own beloved brethren and sisters to seek and to find the Lord Jesus Christ, and then one day, when you shall meet in Paradise, it will be a joy and blessedness to think that you are there, and that your friends are there too, whom God will have made you the instrument of saving. Let your reliance on the Holy Spirit be entire and honest. Trust not yourself, but fear not to trust him. He can give you words. He can apply those words to their hearts, and so enable you to "minister grace to the hearers."

He who has ears...

2007-06-23T20:49:00.000-07:00

A friend at work heard that 9 firefighters in his hometown died in a roof cave-in. He is, in his own words, not on the best of terms with God but he knew quite a few of those men and asked me to pray that none of his friends were among the dead. I did pray. I asked God would make his power and mercy known to Brian by answering his prayer.

I told Brian tonight that I’d asked God to spare them, and whether he had any word yet. He answered, “oh yeah, turns out it wasn’t them at all because the guys who got hit were in their 40s. It’s still tragic, though...”

I was struck at the difference between us. God’s answer was right in front of his face, but he didn’t see it. I was also struck by God’s mercy. Jesus told the Pharisees that He would not tell them whether he was the Christ because they would not believe Him if He told them. God answered Brian’s prayer knowing he would be ignored and rejected.

But I saw it and gave Him thanks. In the coming months there will be many more opportunities to see God’s hand preserving us. I will recognize Him, and will worship, and I will remind Brian of the firefighters.

Galations 5:16

2007-04-29T15:37:00.000-07:00

I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.

Sunday morning and the Pastor’s words were drifting past me like fall leaves. They filled the air, beautiful and alive, but difficult to capture. I resolved to listen, but the words and phrases I caught seemed inanimate and uninteresting.

I’m depressed but would rather not explain why. Five minutes until noon; he’ll be done soon.
…it must be in the context. Either he does not provide sufficient context to follow him and understand his points or I’m too preoccupied to listen. Probably the latter.

“
There was once a little boy lying in bed trying to go to sleep. ‘Daddy,’ he said, ‘I can’t sleep. How can I go to sleep?’
‘Close your eyes and lie still,’ his father responded.
‘I tried that; it doesn’t work.’
‘It will work. Close your eyes and go to sleep.’
‘I’m not sleepy, I can’t sleep.’

Nevertheless, the father was right. My friends, we do not know how we sleep, we do not know why. We just know that God made us to require it and we close our eyes and it happens. Brothers, THIS is how we stop doing the things that oppose Christ. This is the miracle of being a new creature in Christ. This is how we walk in the Spirit. Whatever troubles you this morning, whatever prevents you from walking a victorious Christian life, lay it here, and walk in the Spirit, for you are born of the Spirit and it is natural for you to walk in the Spirit. He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it. How does it happen? The Spirit is like the wind, Jesus said, we do not know where it comes from or where it is going, but it blows where it wishes.
”

Grrrrr

2007-04-25T14:52:00.000-07:00

A woman backed her minivan into my motorcycle in the parking lot yesterday.

Would any of you ladies care to defend your gender?

Thought sparked by listening to the radio:

2007-04-18T09:15:00.000-07:00

Idealists are idiots

but

Optimists might be on to something

www.jachestudio.com

2007-03-18T10:59:00.000-07:00

www.jachestudio.com

Buy a painting, feed a friend of mine.

Happiness is...

2007-03-18T10:19:00.000-07:00

When I was little, my mom had me fill in the blank: "Happiness is ____" with as many answers as I could think of. I noticed one yesterday that I bet I missed as a kid.

Happiness is... approaching a traffic light not caring whether it's green or red because you're going to turn RIGHT.

by Oscar Wilde

2007-01-25T15:07:00.000-08:00

an excerpt from The Ballad of Reading Gaol

I.
He did not wear his scarlet coat,
For blood and wine are red,
And blood and wine were on his hands
When they found him with the dead,
The poor dead woman whom he loved,
And murdered in her bed.

He walked amongst the Trial Men
In a suit of shabby grey;
A cricket cap was on his head,
And his step seemed light and gay;
But I never saw a man who looked
So wistfully at the day.

I never saw a man who looked
With such a wistful eye
Upon that little tent of blue
Which prisoners call the sky,
And at every drifting cloud that went
With sails of silver by.

I walked, with other souls in pain,
Within another ring,
And was wondering if the man had done
A great or little thing,
When a voice behind me whispered low,
"That fellows got to swing."

Dear Christ! the very prison walls
Suddenly seemed to reel,
And the sky above my head became
Like a casque of scorching steel;
And, though I was a soul in pain,
My pain I could not feel.

I only knew what hunted thought
Quickened his step, and why
He looked upon the garish day
With such a wistful eye;
The man had killed the thing he loved
And so he had to die.

___
Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!

Some kill their love when they are young,
And some when they are old;
Some strangle with the hands of Lust,
Some with the hands of Gold:
The kindest use a knife, because
The dead so soon grow cold.

Some love too little, some too long,
Some sell, and others buy;
Some do the deed with many tears,
And some without a sigh:
For each man kills the thing he loves,
Yet each man does not die.

Full text at:
http://emotionalliteracyeducation.com/classic_books_online/rgaol10.htm

CARMINA 1.11

2007-01-21T05:54:00.000-08:00

Tu ne quaesieris (scire nefas) quem mihi, quem tibi
finem di dederint, Leuconoe, nec Babylonios
temptaris numeros. Vt melius quicquid erit pati!
Seu pluris hiemes seu tribuit Iuppiter ultimam,
quae nunc oppositis debilitat pumicibus mare
Tyrrhenum, sapias, uina liques et spatio breui
spem longam reseces. Dum loquimur, fugerit inuida
aetas: carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero.

I'd Walk a Mile for a Radman.

2007-01-20T07:51:00.000-08:00

Need to advertise yourself? The Slogan Generator can help. You're supposed to stick with the first one you get, but I cheated and tried twice:

http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi

1st attempt:
I'd Walk a Mile for a Radman.

2nd attempt:
Promise Her Anything,
But Give Her Radman.

MUST READ!!

2007-01-13T08:52:00.000-08:00

The Privatization of Victory:

A corporal can destroy all that a battalion creates

by Sgt Roger D. Huffstetler, Jr.

http://www.marinecorpsgazette-digital.com/marinecorpsgazette/200701/?pg=20&pm=2&u1=friend

For those who need a teaser: "The permanence of the mission and, therefore, its accomplishment should be the basis for victory; however, limiting the number of casualties now supplants mission accomplishment as the metric for victory..."
"GEN Wesley Clark, USA(Ret) is often cited as winning the Kosovo conflict 'without a single casualty.' That phrase is meaningless..."
"Forget politics and for a moment put yourself in the place of the junior Marine. All he knows is that he has to follow orders and accomplish the mission because his mission, like the Marine Corps' mission, is permanent. His government owes him the knowledge that, even if he dies, the cause will go on because it is immutable, noble, and clear. Missions cannot remain permanent if we allow outside, shifting criteria to determine their importance, and disintermediation has played a role in doing just that."
"...the perceived information transparency has undermined the administration's effort to use a shifting rationale for war rather than a permanent one."

I'd rather meet your dog.

2007-01-08T14:32:00.000-08:00

"A righteous man regards the life of his animal, But the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel." (Proverbs 12:10)
I'm a firm believer that there's something evil and twisted about a person who hates animals. I am equally convinced that the true character of pet owners is mirrored in the animal. Pets (and I'm talking DOGS here) are so often a accurate reflection of their owners that if I wanted a quick valuation of a person's character I'd rather meet his dog than the man himself.

Lessons from Deuteronomy

2007-01-05T15:48:00.000-08:00

Deut. 24:1-4 God here commands a woman, once divorced and remarried, never to return to her first husband: "then her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the Lord..."
---God uses marriage to describe His relationship with His people. Because of our waywardness we are often described as adulterous and full of lust. But God is faithful, and as he pictured through Hosea's marriage to Gomer, His love pursues us to bring us back. Why then is it such an abomination for a man to take back his former wife? Because he sent her away. From this I learn that once the gates of heaven shut against us, we are lost. During the present age God's hand is extended toward us, calling us back to Him, healing our wounds, dispensing mercy and grace. But there will come a day when His face will darken and He shuts the door. No one can enter then, no matter how plaintive his cries.

Deut. 24:15 "Each day you shall give him his wages, and not let the sun go down on it, for he is poor and has set his heart on it..."
---From this I learn that when a Marine has a problem with pay, it is never too minor to merit my full attention.

Deut. 24:16 "Fathers shall not be put to death for their children, nor shall children be put to death for their fathers..."
---God is just, as each man is punished for his own sin, but this reminds me of another place where God promises to remember a righteous man by blessing his children to the thousandth generation. From this I learn that Aristotle was right to include a man's legacy in the definition of a happy life. A man cannot truly be said to have led a good life if his works die with him.

Deut. 26 This one got too long. I might post it separately at a later time

Deut. 27:5 "And there you shall build an altar to the Lord your God, an altar of stones; you shall not use an iron tool on them..."
---From this I learn that salvation is God's work, not man's. The building of this altar was for the giving of thanks and was an occasion for worship and rejoicing in the grace God had bestowed. The whole work was a holy project of God's. Neither is there any workmanship of ours in those livings stones with which God is building an eternal temple.

Hermeneutics is a touchy subject. It was not my intent in the above passages to pass absolute conclusions about the "true meanings" of the verses; rather, I hoped to discover something about who God is through what he commanded the Israelites. Several times in the Old Testament men of God stood up and asked the Israelites what other nation had such a God as the Lord, who gave such wise and just laws. It was in this spirit that I sought to uncover the wisdom of these OT passages. Just as Solomon astonished men with his wisdom, I hoped to marvel and be moved to worship as I discerned God's attributes more clearly. In beholding Him more clearly I hope that I may come to love Him more.

Fantastically Gruesome Motorcycle Accident

2007-01-04T15:13:00.000-08:00

Remember the pics I put in here of the deer? I have ones just as messy from a motorcycle accident. Email me if you want me to send them to you (they're a little too pungent for the general public).

Symbols of wealth and status

2007-01-03T17:17:00.000-08:00

If you're filthy rich and want to show it, what do you own? A rolex, a BMW or Mercades, an indoor heated pool? Try a Kirby vacuum cleaner.

I just had a salesman demonstrate the product and was quite impressed. Sleek machine. Me like!

($1699)

*GASP*

He came down to $1,300. Oh wow, great, ONLY $1,300, what a deal! Maybe I'll buy two so I have a spare.

The fallacy of self-reform

2006-12-26T07:29:00.000-08:00

Here are two quotations from The Picture of Dorian Gray, which deserve to be placed under the light of scripture or discussed in the context of personal experience, but I don't have the time or patience right now. Suffice it to say that the observations which Oscar Wilde makes on confession, conscience and good intentions are terrifyingly accurate.

"Three o'clock struck, and four, and the half-hour rang its double chime, but Dorian Gray did not stir. He was trying to gather up the scarlet threads of life, and to weave them into a pattern; to find his way through the sanguine labyrinth of passion through which he was wandering. He did not know what to do, or what to think. Finally, he went over to the table, and wrote a passionate letter to the girl he had loved, imploring her forgiveness, and accusing himself of madness. He covered page after page with wild words of sorrow, and wilder words of pain. There is a luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves we feel that no one else has a right to blame us. It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution. When Dorian had finished the letter, he felt that he had been forgiven. " (pg. 106)

"Good resolutions are useless attempts to interfere with scientific laws. Their origin is pure vanity. Their result is absolutely nil. They give us, now and then, some of those luxurious emotions that have a certain charm for the weak. That is all that can be said for them. They are simply cheques that men draw on a bank where they have no account." (pg. 111)

Follow me

2006-12-14T19:13:00.000-08:00

I helped the first sergeant PT the remedials this morning. We jogged down to a quarter mile track and started running laps. 8 laps would be timed, he said, with a catch-your-breath lap between each. I was the pace setter for the "cheetahs", the group of 11 Marines who had to sprint around the track in 1:30 (if there were stragglers, the lap wouldn't count for anyone).

We made the first few on time, but before long I was crossing the line with only one or two on my heels. The rest were doing their best, and wretching spiritedly on the side of the track after each lap, but it was clear that the group could no longer make the 1:30. In consequence, we would keep running until the first sergeant got tired. To make sure we understood that failure was not acceptable, he hollered for me to increase the pace on the jog laps.

We were somewhere around our 9th or 10th lap (not including the jog laps), when the thought that only four had counted began to irk some of the Marines. Not to mention that we had yet to even start on the crunches, pushups, and chin-ups. I decided to address the murmering behind me: "You need to give it all you got on this next lap, oo-rah? We know we're not going to make time anymore, but when you think about it, it's an easy day. All you gotta do is run. Run until you're dry-heaving and the first sergeant will smile and we'll call it a day."

I often feel that life is like that. I become overwhelmed by the requirements and responsibilities of work, relationships, and most of all, the raw dispair of being so sinful. I not only fall short, I see no way to improve enough to make standard. I just keep going around and around, the same old broken pathetic sinner, making God more angry with every lap.

In one sense, what God requires of us is impossible--to go and sin no more--but like this morning's PT, he knows we are weak and there is another standard hidden behind the rules. Sometimes in the gospels, Jesus makes the way of salvation very difficult. He said that whoever is angry is a murderer, and whoever lusts is an adulterer. He told the rich young ruler that following the Ten Commandments was not enough and that he must also go sell everything he owned; but Jesus also simplified the divine precepts: "Follow me." Being a Christian is hard when viewed as a list of commandments, but we are really only required to try. We must give up everything--leave all and follow him--to die to ourselves--but the mortification of the flesh, taken step by step, is nothing more than deciding to follow Jesus. It is loving God, it is desiring to be cleansed, it is believing that he is willing to forgive.

It's a lousy analogy, I know, but tonight at least it is a comfort to me. I don't have to be perfect, I only have to want to be. God is not actually angry--he's just yelling so I press on, and it's for my own good.

-Kevin
(with apologies in advance to the theologically minded)

Hitting a deer at 70mph

2006-12-03T13:26:00.000-08:00

Don't worry, it wasn't me, but check this out!

(Mr. Tumnus, is that you?)

And another thing...

2006-11-30T17:31:00.000-08:00

A question, actually. I want a tattoo. If I got one, what should I get, and where?
(C'mon, admit it! A lot of you probably would get one if they didn't have such loud connotations. I happen to be in a position where I'm not worried about offending those more pius than myself.)

2006-11-30T17:24:00.000-08:00

Every time I fly a commercial airliner I feel sorry for the flight stewardesses and want to take them home with me. This past trip to and from CA was no exception. Maybe they really enjoy their nomadic life, but to me they're like homeless people.

News

2006-11-28T09:39:00.000-08:00

Having had, for the past several months, the sincere intention of providing a detailed account of my life and activities, I became daunted by the scope of the project and wrote nothing. Being laid on the shelf for so long, what news I had either spoiled or was forgotten. Here's all that's left:

Birthday in October--can't remember whether anything special happened.
Visited Paul McNiel and his family in Bath, NC several times. Everything about these trips has been a blessing--the fall colors, long motorcycle rides in the cold, conversation, food, "tall boys", dawn-to-dusk hard work (cutting and hauling trees, rebuilding carburetors, etc.), and adventure (bull riding and getting stuck while 4-wheeling in a Toyota).
Bull riding deserves it's own entry--I didn't cover the full 8 seconds, but man, what a rush! I even had one fall down with me still on it. Oh, and yeah, I look awsome in cowboy duds.
Spent nearly a month in 29 Palms, California. Good training. Saw some pretty cool stuff, did some pretty cool stuff, and sat around A LOT. Sitting around in the desert was good for me--boredom normally gets me into trouble, but there, it drove me to spend some time praying and meditating on the Bible. I also had quite a few conversations with other Marines about God and salvation, but I'm not sure I did a good enough job to call it witnessing.
Didn't get back in time for Thanksgiving, but I did share the holiday spirit with the McNiels on a boat in the Outer Banks, catching Blues and feeding pelicans. Worked on two outboard motors, bought a hitch and towed the boat with my own truck *sigh* life is good.

More later? Maybe. Got to run

2006-10-28T12:20:00.000-07:00

"And so it was, whenever the spirit from God was upon Saul, that David would take a harp and play it with his hand. Then Saul would become refreshed and well, and the distressing spirit would depart from him."

Things that make me smile:

2006-10-27T12:45:00.000-07:00

Base housing is surrounded by fences, which are periodically strung with colorful handmade banners welcoming the Marines home. I enjoy reading them; I think the one I like the most is the red one fixed to a traffic sign, which just says, "I love you!" I bet a lot of guys like that one best, since so many don't have anyone to come home to.

Yeah, it's like that...

2006-10-26T17:57:00.000-07:00

Isaac Watts (again)

2006-10-26T17:49:00.000-07:00

Am I a soldier of the cross,
A fol'wer of the Lamb,
And shall I fear to own his cause,
Or blush to speak his Name?

Sure I must fight if I would reign:
Increase my courage, Lord;
I'll bear the toil, endure the pain,
Supported by they Word.

Isaac Watts, 1719

2006-10-09T10:16:00.000-07:00

Our God, our help in ages past,
Our hope for years to come,
Our shelter from the stormy blast,
And our eternal home.

Time, like an ever rolling stream,
Bears all its sons away;
They fly, forgotten, as a dream
Dies at the opening day.

FYI, this hymn was sung at the funeral of former British prime minister Winston Churchill in St. Paul’s Cathedral, London, 1965.

R.I.P.

2006-10-06T14:42:00.000-07:00

Glory

(May 8, 1993 - Oct 5, 2006)

Horatius Bonar, 1866

2006-09-17T18:34:00.000-07:00

When the weary, seeking rest,
To Thy goodness flee;
When the heavy laden cast
All their load on Thee;
When the troubled, seeking peace,
On Thy Name shall call;
When the sinner, seeking life,
At Thy feet shall fall:

Hear then in love, O Lord, the cry
In Heav’n, Thy dwelling place on high.

Hymns

2006-09-10T19:04:00.000-07:00

I'm going to start a weekly hymn posting--just a verse or two that soothed and comforted me during the week. I'll start by publishing a post I wrote last week after coming home from church. The first is the lead verse of a song I sang with the choir and the second was played during communion:

"When I can read my title clear
to mansions in the skies,
I'll bid farewell to every fear,
and wipe my weeping eyes."

+

"Dear dying Lamb, thy precious blood
shall never lose its power,
Till all the ransomed church of God
Be saved, to sin no more:
Be saved to sin no more, be saved, to sin no more..."

=

a good reason to be in church (and possibly almost maybe a good reason to live and not be dead yet)

Back in the day...

2006-09-07T20:10:00.000-07:00

Ah, the good old days, where instead of stopping his son, a father would sit back and take a picture of the boy's big moment! :-]

Newsworthy woman

2006-09-05T14:46:00.000-07:00

*sits down in front of computer*

www.yahoo.com

Katie Couric "steps into the spotlight as the first woman to anchor the evening news solo."

*click*

"She's the first woman hired to anchor one of the three network nightly newscasts on her own. Predecessors Barbara Walters, Connie Chung and Elizabeth Vargas only got their jobs in partnership with men.
That milestone moved Rochelle Riley, columnist at the Detroit Free Press, to urge women across the country to watch Couric.
'You don't have to be a fan,' Riley wrote. 'You don't even have to like the news. But progress requires it.' "

*pause*

Sweeeeet. Rock on dudette!

...

now where'd I put my beer...?

2006-09-05T07:05:00.000-07:00

now as then in Galilee...

2006-08-30T19:27:00.000-07:00

“The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.”
-psychologist William Stekel, quoted in The Catcher in the Rye

"Are ye able," said the Master,
"to be crucified with me?"
"Yea," the sturdy dreamers answered,
"to the death we follow thee."

My newest toy:

2006-08-24T19:03:00.000-07:00

It had a rough ride home but I think it will be okay. Besides, it only cost $160! (and 6 beers for the neighbors who helped get it into the house.)

Thanks very much

2006-08-20T11:08:00.000-07:00

In January I mailed a package for an international officer from Malawi who had to rush off to make his flight. It cost far more to mail than he had anticipated,and 5 months later he had still not received it. Meanwhile he was promoted to captain and sent to the Sudan in a peace keeping mission. I filed an inquiry and an investigation at USPS, which led to nothing except more forms and emails. It's been a big pain.
Then I received this email:

From: PHILLIP CHITEKWE
To: kevin.radman@gmail.com
Date: Aug 18, 2006 7:27 AM
Subject: Thanks very much

Honestry, am very thankful for your tireless efforts towards my electronics which has just arrived in my country and has already been cleared by my friend.I was talking to my friend this morning who confirmed receit of the item in good condition. May the almighty God bless you always.You are awonderful friend I ever had.You must be a real christian I guess.Sudan is cool no more fighting. People are tired of fighting.I am wishing you a wonderful and successful stay wherever you may be.God Bless.

PHILLIP
Thanks.

Easy Street

2006-08-14T17:07:00.000-07:00

If you read this post, please take a moment to thank God for His persistent kindness toward the froward youngest Radman.

Yours Truly
101 Easy Street
Jacksonville, NC 28546

http://www.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=299+easy+street,+Jacksonville+NC&ie=UTF8&ll=34.754479,-77.33352&spn=0.003222,0.006244&t=k&om=1

2006-08-13T05:42:00.000-07:00

The Lord builds up Jerusalem;
He gathers together the outcasts of Israel.
He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds.
He counts the number of the stars;
He calls them all by name.
Great is our Lord, and mighty in power;
His understanding is infinite.
The Lord lifts up the humble;
He casts the wicked down to the ground.

Sing to the Lord with thanksgiving;
Sing praises on the harp to our God,
Who covers the heavens with clouds,
Who prepares rain for the earth,
Who makes grass to grow on the mountains.
He gives to the beast its food,
And to the young ravens that cry.

He does not delight in the strength of the horse;
He takes no pleasure in the legs of a man.
The Lord takes pleasure in those who fear Him,
In those who hope in His mercy.
PSALM 147:2-11

Our little cannoneer

2006-07-26T15:49:00.000-07:00

St. Barbara (patron saint of field artillery) seated on a 155mm HE projectile. Her tatoo is our school logo. 1950s pinup style artwork thanks to Lt. Whalen. We unveiled and installed this ceiling tile in the BOQ bar. We also used this design on our class shirt, where we allowed Barb to keep her halo. :)

Memories from Fort Sill

2006-07-25T19:55:00.000-07:00

Back in 'nam...

The triple-seven--replacing the M198 as "God's gun"

Administrative bivouac (i.e. Army style):

More to come later; the stellar dial-up connection here at home took well over an hour to load those three photos.

Doors

2006-07-11T20:05:00.000-07:00

You know how hotels often have doors connecting the rooms? You can unlock and open your own door but the second must be opened from the adjacent room. My room here at Fort Sill is set up like that. New neighbors moved in with kids and today I heard a couple ragamuffins opening their door and playing around it. They were clearly interested in the secret passage.

I instantly had the urge to softly open my door then lunge in and scare the tar out of them. I'd do it up right, of course. I had an oversized pair of ragged blue coveralls and my choice of headgear. Shucks, I could even take my range deflection protractor (which happens to look like an aluminum battle axe).

Problem was, I'd have to evacuate my own room post haste so the parent(s) wouldn't catch me.

But I'd still need a place to sleep tonight, so...

...so I didn't do it. Such a shame. :-/ It was a fun idea, though, and still makes me smile.

godquest.com continued...

2006-07-02T10:57:00.000-07:00

Last week we learned that God's will for us is our sanctification. Having been called and declared righteous, God wants us to be holy and walk with him. Today pastor preached on three obstacles that will prevent us from achieving this.

In the parable of the sower in Luke 8:4f, we see three things stand between the sowing of the seed and the harvest of a good crop. The devil (v. 12), the flesh (v. 13), and the world (v. 14). The devil steals the seed before it can sprout. The flesh is our sin nature--the unsanctified desire of our hearts for ease and comfort. Those choked by thorns are the ones who buy into the world's economy of values. Rather than seeing that their value comes from being made in the image of God and through relationship with Him, these become distracted by life's worries, riches, and pleasures.

For all three, pastor said, the solution is the same. "His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature..." (I Peter 1:3-4). We need only to join desire for God with the power of God that is already in us. In Isaiah 26:7-9, the psalmist exclaims that God paves the way for the righteous, for the one who longs for God day and night. And we all do. We all long for God The desires of the world and the flesh are natural desires. The longing we feel for food, rest, friendship and intimacy are from the hand of God. The only question is, how do we direct them? For the Christian, they are signposts to turn us to God.

I enjoyed the message very much. It complemented what I've been reading in "The Green Letters" by Miles Stanford. Mr. Stanford points out that sanctification is God's work in us (Philippians 2:13) and he principally achieves his ends through our need, our lack, our failures. Next time you feel the waves of sorrow or loneliness or temptation lap your feet, let these human passions remind you of the God who created you and redeemed you for his good purposes.

A lesson on leadership:

2006-07-02T01:00:00.000-07:00

godquest.com

2006-06-25T12:40:00.000-07:00

Good sermon today. Pastor took us to mapquest.com and the detailed directions it provided to get him from his starting point to his destination. How nice would it be, he asked, to be able to look up similar directions for life. Every maneuver, every turn, distances and times that will take us from where we are to where we want to be.

Going from single to happily married?
Brush teeth--3 min.
Iron clothes--20 min.
Go to church with large singles ministry, carrying the largest Bible you possess--2 hr/wk.
Introduce yourself to beautiful people--1 min.
Say you were really blessed by the sermon and want to grow in your relationship with Christ--15 sec.
Talk about how much you enjoy kids and puppies--5 min.
:-)

Ok, humor aside, his point was that God's will as we seek it is often quite different from God's will as He reveals it in the Bible. God does have a plan for your life, but marriage, kids, location, vocation, and vacation are not in it. These things are incidental; they do not contain the substance of His will for us.

I Thessalonians 4:3-8 "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God... For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you."

I stopped following the sermon here (the next 20 minutes he talked about sanctification and holiness--yeah, I'm familiar with the topic). I was watching the family sitting in front of me. The mother wrote a note to her ?high school/college? Daughter that said, "God and I will be praying for you every day while you're gone."

That's sweet; my mom loves me too.

That exchange was the motivator I needed to understand the sermon. God no longer sees my sin, but Christ's righteousness. Yeah yeah, got it. He wants me to walk worthy of that calling. Uh-huh, got it. God does not just tolerate me and wish I would grow up, He loves me as a parent loves his child. Oh. I am lovely and precious to Him, and in His affection He longs for the day when I will stop cutting myself in service to foreign Gods and worship Him alone.

Enough of pain killers and entertaining distractions (see previous post), "One day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere... No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly."

Sometimes I think it's a shame...

2006-06-24T22:15:00.000-07:00

I was listening to an oldies station and heard a man strumming his guitar to these lyrics:
"Sometimes I think it's a shame
when I get feelin' better,
when I'm feelin' no pain."

It's a terrible admission, but I think most of us live this way.

My hero:

2006-06-23T16:45:00.000-07:00

"My chest hair measures 40cm and sometimes if people ask me if my moustache is real I show them my chest hair."

Facial Hairy

2006-06-21T21:40:00.000-07:00

I would love to know what you all think of facial hair. When is it acceptable? My mom seems to dislike it in any configuration. Most guys I know think if a man can "pull it off" (i.e. has thicker-than-average growth) then it's practically his obligation to show it off. The more he wears the more we respect him for ignoring the wishes of the average girl and being the studly man God made him to be.

I've been trying to grow a Marine Corps regulation mustache (must be neatly trimmed 1/8 inch below the nose, 1/8 inch above the upper lip, and shall not exceed the corners of the mouth--think Adolf Hitler). Problem is, I've been at it for two weeks and no one can tell yet. Well, almost no one--I was told it's terrible and should be shaved off before I walk in the graduation ceremony tomorrow.

I'm not going to, of course. :)

Psalm 15:4b

2006-06-18T15:57:00.000-07:00

The righteous man "swears to his own hurt and does not change"

Happy Fathers Day

Friendship and Allegiance

2006-06-05T09:34:00.000-07:00

Great sermon this morning. The pastor began with an account of his three year old bursting into the room with an urgent message: one sibling had called another sibling a "big bully." Pastor Chris dealt with the clearly agitated boy, then pondered what had made his son so keen to defend his older brother's honor. Normally, the three year old tattletale used his emergency broadcast system to declare how much of a bully the other was and how deserving of punishment. As it turns out, a deal had been brokered between them (to include an exchange of goods and services) and they had agreed to become allies and promised each other friendship.
He concluded that kids understand friendship -- friendship is allegiance -- but they are shallow in their practice and make friendship conditional. They treat it like money, exchanging it and trading for goods and services like any other commodity. How many of us, he asked, approach God this way? We pledge our allegiance to God with our fingers crossed behind our backs in case a better deal comes along. How many of us are unfaithful in our friendship with God? We serve Him when convenient, but when the world offers greater pleasures we transgress.

James 4:4-5 says, "Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, 'The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously'?"

The NIV says "hatred". If you love the world, you hate God. Our God is jealous and demands unadulterated allegiance. What's the big deal about friendship with the world? Why does faith in God have to be all or nothing?

Because claims of allegiance without the acts of allegiance are worthless.
"But do you want to know, O foolish man, that faith without works is dead? Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered Isaac his son on the altar? Do you see that faith was working together with his works, and by works faith was made perfect? And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, 'Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.' And he was called the friend of God. You see then that a man is justified by works, and not by faith only."
-James 2:20-24
Abraham wasn't trying to broker a deal. He was committed, and because of this he was called the friend of God.

How do these words find you? My double-mindedness was apparent. I run after many lovers (idols) and return expecting to find the light on and dinner ready. I love the world, returning to God on Sunday mornings only to say I'm sorry and make sure the deal about going to heaven is still on. God be thanked that there is grace even for this.

How to install a wireless security system:

2006-06-04T10:40:00.000-07:00

Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used work boots ... a really big pair.

Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine. Put a dog dish beside it ... a really big dish.

Leave a note on your front door that says something like this:"Bubba, Big Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition - back in 30 minutes. Don't disturb the pit bulls, they've just been wormed."

Inspiration from Genesis 29

2006-05-29T13:01:00.000-07:00

Then Jacob went on his journey, and came to the land of the children of the east. And he looked, and behold, a well in the field, and, lo, three flocks of sheep lying there by it. For out of that well they watered the flocks. And the stone upon the well's mouth was great.
...
While he was yet speaking with them, Rachel came with her father's sheep. For she kept them. And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban his mother's brother, and the sheep of Laban his mother's brother, that Jacob went near, and rolled the stone from the well's mouth, and watered the flock of Laban his mother's brother. And Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice, and wept.

So that's how it's done.

Cool. :-]

Social Graces

2006-05-13T18:17:00.000-07:00

I was taught never to whistle at girls because it's rude and because they don't like it.

I was running the other day with two other Marines when we received hoots and whistles from a passing car of girls. I liked it. I didn't ask, but the other guys clearly didn't mind either. So what gives? Is this a one-way street?

Read Psalm 73...

2006-05-02T21:02:00.000-07:00

...now put it in the context of a young man trying to find his identity and gain acceptance among his worldly peers.

Pride is their necklace
They scoof and speak with malace
Their tongue struts thought the earth

behold, these are the wicked, always at ease

But when I thought to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task, until I went into the sanctuary of God

I was brutish and ignorant;
I was like a beast toward you
Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you
God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever
You put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you. But for me it is good to be near God

Asaph is THE MAN.

WWRD?

2006-04-30T14:26:00.000-07:00

What would Rambo do? he would buy a T38 8mm Mauser + Accessories, I think. Here is my new WWII era bolt action Turkish military rifle. It came with a bayonet and about 400 rounds of military surplus ammo.

Here's the rifle:

Here I am holding my piece:

I also bought a sweet double barrel 12 gauge shotgun from Uncle Sam's pawn. It was made in Spain and has colorful scrolled metalwork, with a hunting dog on either side and a duck engraved underneath. I plan on going shooting next weekend. *bliss*

Colossians 4:6

2006-04-30T11:42:00.000-07:00

"Always talk pleasantly and with a flavor of wit, but be sensitive to the kind of answer each one requires."
-Colossians 4:6, NJB

Normally I'm annoyed by authors and preachers who pick and choose from different translations to find the paraphrase with the most jazz, but for this verse I think the NJB version has it right.

Something I've been trying to get a handle on for a while is how to be bold for Christ without being a loser for Christ. I don't think "Jesus freak" is the answer, nor is simply fitting in. What I've been learning, however, is that the middle path most of us pursue of making our beliefs known then quietly seeking to validate them by doing our job well and being a good Christian is also incomplete. When I pursue this route I find that I am continually slipping into reliance on my performance as a Christian to influence people for Christ. More subtly, I find that I am merely seeking to prove myself, not Christ.

I've been watching another Christian flounder in this area. I exhorted him several weeks ago to be bold for Christ. He told me that we were already the most socially ostracised one in the group, and couldn't afford to dig our holes any deeper. I disagreed. I've been watching him and considering what is it, exactly, that makes him (and I) such outsiders. I think I'm beginning to discover how the fruit of seeking to prove ourselves differs from the fruit of seeking to prove Christ.

My friend knows that no one respects him, but thinks he can solve this by fitting in. He swears profusely, drinks heavily, and buys rounds for everyone at the bar. He knows he's not cool, he knows he can't PT, but has told me that the one thing he has got that people will have to respect him for is his intelligence. He is fixated with his grades. He will sulk for days after receiving a bad grade. He has convinced himself that people will have to respect him if he is number one in academics. He's wrong, of course. I was listening to some Marines tell their glory stories about touchdown runs and vicious tackles, and caught myself longing for a chance to get on the field and show them that I was tough too. Then I remembered my friend's quest for academics. Proving myself on the field would do no more good for me than better grades would do for him. For some reason, no matter how macho or cool I try to be, I'm not going to fit in.

The other Marines despise my friend because they know he is vain and insecure and is just trying to gain their acceptance. They will continue to despise him regardless of how well he does. The only way to gain respect is to stop grasping after it. A Christian's reputation and image are important to the success of the gospel, but he cannot succeed by playing the world's game because he is not of this world. We'll never beat the world at their own game. It's foolish to try to establish ourselves by performing the world's arts of drinking and boasting, because we are representatives of a different set of values.
It seemed at first that there was little difference between seeking the the acceptance and approval of others for yourself and seeking it for Christ and the gospel, but the two are worlds apart. The first leads to the dead end my friend is facing. The other astonishes people as they wonder what it is that has such a hold on us that we would not court their affections like everyone else. Like a hidden fault line, my self-interest reveals its depth and ugliness when I try to out-perform non-believers and fail. This is true even if I'm trying to be a good person, because I don't always have a better attitude than those around me, nor will I ever be the best at my job. When my efforts are geared toward being a good Christian for others to see and admire, my world crumbles. I said earlier that being bold for Christ is more than simply making our beliefs known then quietly validating them by doing our job well and being a good Christian. It is also understanding that we do these things in seeking to please God, not man. This alone sets a distinguishing mark upon our testimony--not that we perform greater acts of love than the world, but that we do it entirely selflessly. We do it out of love, not self-interest. My prayer is that I might discover how to discern a man and answer him wisely, rather than seeking to please him with my answer.

Well, that's all about as clear as mud--I had a pretty good draft, I think, but the computer ate it, and though I wasn't able to gather my thoughts quite as well the second time, I had to say something.something.

There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.

2006-04-22T15:18:00.000-07:00

Cicero has well said, "friendship is the only thing in the world concerning the usefulness of which all mankind are agreed." Friendship seems as necessary as element of a comfortable existence in this world as fire or water, or even air itself. A man may drag along a miserable existence in proud solitary dignity, but his life is a scarce life, it is nothing but an existence, the tree of life being stripped of the leaves of hope and the fruits of joy. He who would be happy here must have friends; and he who would be happy hereafter, must, above all things, find a friend in the world to come, in the person of God, the Father of his people.

Spurgeon's opening words to a sermon on Proverbs 18:24

It's time...

2006-04-09T15:35:00.000-07:00

It's time I bought a firearm... or several. Someone tell Wiley, Nelson, and Krull that I'm writing this. I need advice. I'm pretty sure I want a cheap old shotgun, but what else? What about some kind of hand-cannon revolver or hi powered hunting rifle? Don't bother telling me about MP5s or other fully automatic stuff, I couldn't afford one, but if know of a really classy six-shooter or sturdy old bolt action hunting rifle, I'd love to hear your recommendations.

This post is going to be my electronic WWRD bracelet. What would Rambo do? There's some crazy stuff hidden in the pawnshops of this town, but I need to know what I'm looking for or I'll get ripped off.

Blessings at church

2006-04-09T15:22:00.000-07:00

I was a door greeter at my church this morning and enjoyed it immensely (mostly because it was an excuse to avoid some of the "worship" portion of the service!) It was a beautiful, breezy day and I had ridden my motorcycle to church.

Blessings come in other ways, too. I met a nice girl. I noticed her because her arm was in a sling. She was cute, and full of smiles, so I couldn't resist and asked how she hurt it. She wrecked her dirt bike! I got to point out mine in the parking lot.

We'd have talked longer, but her mom was there and probably wouldn't appreciate my encouraging her nine-year old in such a dangerous pastime.

-none-

2006-04-04T18:15:00.000-07:00

I'm kinda down. I have some reasons, of course, but I'll admit none of them are very good. I just told a friend that it's because I started the week with more good intentions than I'm used to, and watching them die upsets me. That's probably closer to the truth than I realized when I said it. Perhaps the thing to do is pray more and do less? Or pray more and continue doing good without losing hope. That sounds more like Scripture, but I'm going to stop quoting the Bible before I risk losing my melancholy.

Speaking of which, I think I'll take this opportunity (since it seems like the popular thing to do) to post some of my favorite musical poetry:

He says, son, can you play me a memory?

I’m not really sure how it goes

But it’s sad and it’s sweet and I knew it complete

When I wore a younger man’s clothes

Will you be in heaven?

2006-03-30T14:59:00.000-08:00

This is the word of God. May He bless it to your understanding...

http://www.xanga.com/Jimsonphc/464693192/item.html?nextdate=last

Found a church

2006-03-24T17:16:00.000-08:00

MY church doesn't take collections. They have a box in the back for those who choose to give. Ha!

What about yours?

Maybe babies aren't so bad...

2006-03-11T12:18:00.000-08:00

I just overheard some old ladies crooning over a baby, and learned that babies wake up happy. Is this true? Do they greet each day with a smile? Providing their immediate needs are met, are they really without any resentments or discontent? Wow.

Psalm 22

2006-03-11T10:57:00.000-08:00

I read Psalm 22 this morning, and was touched, Sovereign-Grace-Ministries-style (i.e. tearfully by God's love). What struck me is that David, petitioning for deliverance from his trials, wrote the very prophesies of Christ's suffering, which in turn became the means of David's deliverance. God had compassion on David, and put own Son (born of the line of David) through a far greater agony in order to reconcile men to God. David was never truly forsaken because Jesus was--actually and totally. Reading with Christ in mind opened my eyes to His suffering and the reason for it.

There's much more to say about this Psalm, but I think I'll just screw it up if I try to go too in depth. I like, for example, verse 25: "From you comes my praise in the great congregation; my vows I will perform before those who fear him." How beautiful is that? All my good works are tainted with selfish ambition or self-righteousness, but David longs to perform his vows with thanksgiving before those who fear God. I wish that I could have David's piety--anxious to fast and sacrifice and give thanks in the church, where all God's people would gather to sing psalms and give testimony to God's love.

It's a happy thought--but here I am, ungrateful and vile. The church is a poole function for worldly, Sunday Christians. Someday, perhaps, I will enter the assembly of the righteous and see such a place.

New Address

2006-03-06T16:59:00.000-08:00

2ndLt Radman, K. E.
BOLC III, Class 1-06, Box 507
PO BOX 820
Fort Sill, OK 73503-5820

Spotted on base:

2006-03-05T12:26:00.000-08:00

Yeah, baby!

Spotted in an away message:

2006-03-05T12:05:00.000-08:00

"Logic just allows me to be wrong with greater authority."
-Jonathan Harrison

Spotted in the classifieds:

2006-03-05T12:01:00.000-08:00

DIVORCE

$125

Crossroad Services

Not A Kit
Court Ready
Same Day Service

*We Specialize in Low Cost Divorces*

I think I'm in love...

2006-03-05T11:58:00.000-08:00

With Atomic Annie!!!

Greetings from the Midwest!

2006-03-04T10:10:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'm in OK.

I'm not gonna lie, I didn't like it here at first. It was 95 degrees when I pulled in Wednesday. "Unseasonably warm," they said on the radio. "Inhumane," I say. Terrain is flat and arid--biggest drought in 50 years, they say. Didn't hear an excuse for the flatness. The grass is not just brown, but bleached to a light tan, and crackles when you walk on it like old barn straw. The trees are no better; short, jaggedy, broken things that only grow along the now parched ditches and riverbanks. They seem dispirited, like they know they can't fight the sun and so don't even attempt to provide shade. Old branches and deadwood, which would have decomposed long ago in Pennsylvania, lie exposed on the ground underneath like bones.

Lawton itself, on Route 44 about 85 miles south of Oklahoma City, is a mismatched patchwork of pawn shops, beer dives, and fast food. Quaint midwestern town? Hardly. A lieutenant was murdered right downtown last weekend. Shot six times, they say. Haven't heard why.

I was pretty bummed about it all, but as I drove to one of the two Wallmart Supercenters this morning, my outlook began to change. I saw a pickup in the turn lane, with three or four people squeezed into the cab, and two riding in the bed. Gee, it's been a while since I've ridden in the bed of a truck, or seen someone else back there. A minute or so later I pulled up at a traffic light next to a bearded dude on an old Yamaha V-Star motorcycle. His girl was on the back, and he was lighting a cigarette. Gotta admire a man like that. I imagine it takes a considerable degree of talent to smoke while you ride. One misplaced twitch or cough, and he'd lose the thing into his helmet, or beard, or collar.

Yep, I think I'll be OK here! :-)

Charles Spurgeon

2006-02-20T18:20:00.000-08:00

Charles Spurgeon is the man. His fire and brimstone preaching, his love for fine cigars, his sagging jowls; there are many reasons Spurgeon is the man. I ran across a new one today in Christian History Institute's Glimpses, Issue 103. It was June 20, 1854 and 20 year young Charles was attending the opening of London's Crystal Palace with Susannah Thompson, a young woman who had found Christ through his preaching just a few months before.

Charles Spurgeon read Susannah a few lines from a book he was reading: "Seek a good wife of thy God, for she is the best gift of His providence.... If thou art to have a wife of thy youth, she is now living on the earth; therefore think of her, and pray for her weal." Spurgeon asked Susannah in a soft voice, "Do you pray for him who is to be your husband?"

Six Reasons...

2006-02-14T08:02:00.000-08:00

Ok, so it's Valentine's Day. What am I going to do about it? As of this morning, I have finally resolved to yield to women.

Click here for six reasons why:

Humorous

2006-02-10T16:34:00.000-08:00

Ya'll HAVE to check out Aaron Thompson's February 08 posting. This is precious, folks.

Resolved...

2006-02-08T19:34:00.000-08:00

I'm not making any new resolutions. Heaven knows I've promised the world a hundred times over and only managed to plunge myself into depression and self-loathing. This is not to say that I don't still enjoy reading a good resolution from time to time. I ran across some particularly inspiring ones just today while reading, When I Don't Desire God: How to Fight for Joy, by John Piper. When Jonathan Edwards was a young man, he wrote out--no kidding--seventy resolutions. Piper quotes three that he has found particularly useful in his own fight for joy.

Number 22: "Resolved, To endeavor to obtain for myself as much happiness, in the other world, as I possibly can, with all the power, might, vigor, and vehemence, yea violence, I am capable of, or can bring myself to exert, in any way that can be thought of."

Number 28: "Resolved, To study the Scriptures so steadily, constantly and frequently, so that I may find, and plainly perceive myself to grow in the knowledge of the same."

Number 6: "Resolved, To live with all my might, while I do live."

I like number 6 the best.

Number 22 reminds me of conversation I had with Dr. Hake once. I went to his office to ask about the efficacy of fasting (I wanted to know whether it works! :-p ). He shared some past experiences, and let me in on the fact that he was currently in the middle of a week long fast. He didn't tell me that it worked--he told me that if there were any possibility that a given action or discipline would catalyze in him a fuller knowledge of the gospel, a deepened affection for Christ, or a closer walk with God, then he would try it. God has not hidden Himself; he has not made the path of life a secret; yet there are no end to the delights that may be found by those willing to probe deeper and seek out the manifold riches of His grace.

"To endeavor... in any way that can be thought of."

Help at last!

2006-02-05T06:55:00.000-08:00

Imagine my joy when I opened the paper this morning to find that Uncle Sam is not only fully aware of my needs but has already launched a program to assist me:

Target acquisition in the theater of love

Military lingo aside, the Army is teaching troops how to choose a spouse.

BY PAULINE JELINEK

ASSOCIATED PRESS

WASHINTON--They are the Pentagon's new "rules of engagement"--the diamond ring kind. Army chaplains are trying to teach troops how to pick the right spouse, though a program called "How To Avoid Marrying a Jerk."

(Motivate acronymns include P.I.C.K. (Premarital Interpersonal Choices and Knowledge) R.A.M.(Relationship Attachment Model) and F.A.C.E.S. (Family background, Attitudes, Compatibility, Experiences in preious relationships and Skills they'd bring to the union). To find out more, visit www.nojerks.com

Answer: (to what I am and shall become!)

2006-02-02T17:13:00.000-08:00

Excellent! I have been far too long in getting back to this post, but that is in part because I liked your answers well enough to leave them alone. Kudos to Brianna, the main thing I was looking for in both passages was God’s command for us to rejoice.

I like the Deuteronomy passage because it shows God’s heart so clearly—God chose Abraham and made a promise to him. He brought Israel out of Egypt, plundering as they went, and added as spectacular military victory at the Red Sea just for good measure. He provided food and water, clothing that did not wear out, and despite their disobedience led them into “a good land, a land of brooks of water, of fountains and springs, that flow out of valleys and hills; a land of wheat and barley, of vines and fig trees and pomegranates, a land of olive oil and honey; a land in which you will eat bread without scarcity, in which you will lack nothing; a land whose stones are iron and out of whose hills you can dig copper.” (Deut. 8:6-9) Best of all, He gave them Himself. He promised to be their God and watch over them forever. All he asked in return was that Israel recognize His goodness and thank Him for it. His command was to rejoice. This is grace. It is the gospel of the Old Testament, if you will, for God has never chosen his children for their righteousness (Deut. 9:6), but merely asks that they receive His free gifts and rejoice in them. This is also the good, gospel news of general revelation. It is God’s nature behave this way toward us, even through the delights of His creation.

The greatest commandment has always been to love the Lord with all your heart. The Brain pointed out something else: the second greatest commandment is also present here. Perhaps he looked up Deuteronomy 14 and read the next verse? “And you shall not neglect the Levite who is within your towns,” or perhaps the next several chapters, which instuct Israel to provide for the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow, and institute the Sabbatical year, when debts were cancelled and slaves set free.

Remember when the apostles Peter and John were preaching, and a beggar asked them for money? Peter said, “Silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you: in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk.” And immediately, God healed the man’s legs, and he leapt up, and went with them into the temple, walking, leaping, and praising God.
In a way, that’s what we can all do for each other: I was depressed, and lonely, and inclined to complain. I was frustrated at my lack of growth and tired of trying. You were all right to see that the “emotion” I referenced was more accurately an attitude that reflected my disposition toward God. Ya’ll said, “advice on coping we do not have. Techniques for how to make yourself a better person we do not know. But what we have, we give to you. God is good. Believe it. Thank Him for it. Acknowledge that you are not worthy of it. Eat before Him and rejoice!”

Fratulence

2006-01-31T19:48:00.000-08:00

n. The tendency of brothers to encourage one another in vulgar behavior.

"My five- and seven-year-old sons engaged in a merry bout of fratulence in the bathtub, proving there was no need to waste money buying Mr. Bubble."

www.witwords.com

My Living Will

2006-01-29T05:41:00.000-08:00

My wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

She got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of my beer!

What I am... or used to be.

2006-01-23T20:24:00.000-08:00

I wanted this in my profile, but it wouldn't let me without downloading all sorts of stuff. So here I am:
The cat just died this past year :-(

What am I?

2006-01-23T14:14:00.000-08:00

This would work much better if I actually had readers. I will give you two quotations, one from Scripture, and one from a favorite author; you tell me what emotion I'm feeling. If no one guesses correctly, I may offer a hint, such as this one: "they sell medication to help people like me--mind you, you'll need a prescription." The key to this riddle is actually not in my hints, however, but in the passages. Read them thoughtfully--they are about the same thing. Tell me what these paragraphs have in common, and you will have both described my attitude and prescribed the perfect remedy. I really hope you figure this out soon, it's killing me.

"You shall truly tithe all the increase of your grain that the field produces year by year. And you shall eat before the LORD your God, in the place where He chooses to make His name abide, the tithe of your grain and your new wine and your oil, of the firstborn of your herds and your flocks, that you may learn to fear the LORD your God always. But if the journey is too long for you, so that you are not able to carry the tithe, or if the place where the LORD your God chooses to put His name is too far from you, when the LORD your God has blessed you, then you shall exchange it for money, take the money in your hand, and go to the place which the LORD your God chooses. And you shall spend that money for whatever your heart desires: for oxen or sheep, for wine or similar drink, for whatever your heart desires; you shall eat there before the LORD your God, and you shall rejoice, you and your household."
-Deuteronomy 14:22-26 (NKJ)

"Not only is suicide a sin, it is the sin. It is the ultimate and absolute evil, the refusal to take an interest in existence; the refusal to take the oath of loyalty to life. The man who kills a man, kills a man. The man who kills himself, kills all men; as far as he is concerned he wipes out the world. His act is worse (symbolically considered) than any rape or dynamite outrage. For it destroys all buildings: it insults all women. The thief is satisfied with diamonds; but the suicide is not: that is his crime. He cannot be bribed, even by the blazing stones of the Celestial City. The thief compliments the things he steals, if not the owner of them. But the suicide insults everything on earth by not stealing it. He defiles every flower by refusing to live for its sake."
-G. K. Chesterton (Orthodoxy)

No longer a man.

2006-01-17T18:16:00.000-08:00

I backed my car over our mailbox today... like a woman.

Babies Better than Crack

2005-12-30T17:14:00.000-08:00

"When given the choice between cocaine and newly born pups, mother rats choose pups."
-Scientific American (January 06)

What is your favorite verse?

2005-12-29T09:11:00.000-08:00

A couple weeks ago I was in a men's room at TBS trying to escape from the bustle and read my Bible. A guy asked me what I was reading. I'd seen him around, he was one that lived on the wilder side of life. "The Bible," I said.
"No, I mean, what are you reading? Where are you reading?"
I was reading from the gospel of John.
"What's your favorite verse in the Bible?"
I wasn't prepared for that one. I didn't think I had one. I stumbled around trying to remember and quote a strong verse with a clear gospel message. I didn't find one in time. He had a favorite, though. Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

I've never had a favorite verse. I'm not interested in having my oppressors caught in their own snares, I don't have any aspirations of running without growing tired or soaring like an eagle; I don't know what it means to get everything I ask for or "do all things"--I don't even get that excited about unconquerable, conquering love (Romans 8:37-39).

I do like one thing, though. Peace. If you read the other stuff I've written in this blog I think you'll see why. I wrote a post a while back where I talk about how almost all the epistles in the New Testament greet their audiences with "grace and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ." My chapel testimony quotes from Romans 5, "Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God."

I like that.

Here's another one:
"Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters;
and he who has no money, come, buy and eat!
Coime, buy wine and milk without money and without price.
Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food. Incline your ear, and come to me; hear, that your soul may live; and I will make with you an everlasting covenant, my steadfast, sure love for David." -Isaiah 55:1-3

I didn't mean, of course, that I care nothing for all the other promises of Scripture, only that these ones strike a chord in me. What are your favorite Scriptures?

Charge to the Underclassmen

2005-12-29T08:28:00.000-08:00

Good afternoon, my name is Kevin Radman. I am a Classical Liberal Arts major from Pennsylvania, and I have decided to put my education to use in the United States Marine Corps. It is my privilege to present a charge to the underclassmen. So, boys and girls, if I could have your attention, please.

This past Easter my mother showed me a drawing of mine from when I was quite young—probably only 7 or 8. It is a sketch of my family. At the top of the page my brother appears, walking along, his arms waving senselessly in the air, his eyes crossed, his tongue hanging out, an idiot’s grin on his face—goofy looking. One look at that guy and you feel sorry for me for having to live with him! Below me stands my father, scowling, with his hands planted on his waist and one eyebrow raised. His stare seems to come right out of the paper, as though he sees his artist, and disapproves. My mother approaches from the right; an immense snake, rising on her coils, baring her four razor teeth, glaring ferociously down on me. And there I am, in the center, a cute, innocent little caterpillar, with cute, innocent, fuzzy little legs and a very frightened countenance.

It is an extraordinary sketch, and, if I may say so, it is the very definition of immaturity. It is a pictorial representation of selfishness, and it is found bound up in the heart of youth. The childish person inhabits the center of his world. He looks to those around him for the satisfaction of his desires, but when those around him fail to meet his desires, this world darkens, and appears to him to be filled with monsters; angry, scary, or even simply annoying beings which trouble him on every side. This is a very unpleasant world to live in. Have you not witnessed this drama? Just ask one of those pug-faced tyrants, screaming for toys or candy in the supermarket isle, whether this world suits his taste. Whether his heart is at peace, and whether he thanks his heavenly Father for every good gift.

I have heard that college is a time for maturation; for growing up; for becoming men and women. Yet it seems that many find it a lot easier to get older than to get wiser. They do indeed learn to handle grownup things—they live on their own, they budget their time, they write clever papers and land impressive internships, but for all this they remain children. I have seen graduates, of this institution and of many like it, my peers and friends, who have indeed succeeded in the market place, but who justify their four rigorous years of training by working and playing to suite themselves! Listen! You may work very hard here, but if you do it for yourself, there is no profit in it. He who labors to be wealthy will not be satisfied with riches. He who seeks comfort in many friends will find himself lonely amidst the crowd. Whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for Christ’s sake and the gospel will find it.

I have heard that college is a time of preparation for life. Certainly, we are being trained in many ways, but do not forget that college is life. Indeed you ought to study, but God’s aim for you here, through academic study is no different than that which He is seeking to accomplish in the young child or in the grown man. It is not a job you are being prepared for, or even a ministry. Your preparation here is to learn daily to walk with God and look to Him for the satisfaction of your soul. Are you happy here? Are you thankful? Or do you live in a dark world. Are you just trying to tough it out so you can get on with you life? Your job will be equally sour, and your family life too if you do not look to heaven for the satisfaction of your desires.

This is indeed a harsh and unpleasant world. The distress of the child in the supermarket who isn’t getting the candy he wants is real. Your distress, as you labor on assignments is real. The monsters that surround you are real, but your hate and fear and worry and spite are your own creation. Do the days weigh heavily on you? Consider what is your candy—what is it that you long for, that brings you to your knees, squalling? Jesus said, "Seek first the kingdom of heaven, and all these things shall be added unto you." Think you that the college years are different?

Maturity, before God, is casting off the selfishness of youth. It is offering the sacrifice of praise to the One who never leaves nor forsakes, and declaring your contentment with that stout rod and staff which guide you though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death.

We, the graduating class of 2005, arrived here as mere children. We may yet be children! But know this, that though foolishness and selfishness are bound up in the heart of the child, the rod of correction will drive them far from him. I have felt that rod here. I have felt it, and I thank God for it. Your life during these four years will be closely attended to by a wise Father, a heavenly Father who makes no mistakes. Discipline, you may have heard, always involves displeasing the child, yet it is for our good, and the trials we endured yesterday, we celebrate today.

So, whether you are just getting started here at Patrick Henry College, or you are even now breaking through the tape at the finish line—whatever your hand finds to do—do with all your might, but do it as unto the Lord. It is the gift of God to enjoy your labor.

Walk the Line

2005-12-29T07:22:00.000-08:00

I watched Walk the Line last night. When the curtain fell, I declared to my friends that the movie was awful. No, that's not it. It made me feel "icky." No, that's not quite it either--I felt sick, and I was scared.
Yesterday had been an average day. I had moped around all day bored and depressed. I decided that the worst kind of guilt is not to have done something bad, but to feel incapable of doing anything good. My misery and self-loathing became a burden to my mother. She must be a saint.
The movie made me sick because I felt like I was watching my own life. I don't mean the good older brother and disapproving father--I have both of those, too, but they weren't Johnny's real problem. Walk the Line is the story of a miserable man, who had everything except the ability to be happy. He had screaming fans and a big house, but it was all empty. He hated himself, but was too much enslaved to his passions to change. He was a man with talent, with potential, whose selfishness and pride destroyed him and everyone around him. I haven't done all of the things he did, but I have my own addictions--my own salves to dull the pain. I have the same pride, and the same desire at times to just forget about life for a while.
I hope no one reads this, but then again, I hope someone does. The problem is, I want to think I am somebody. I want to be a man. I want to do something good. But I can't, and God's hand has been heavy on me to bring me to my knees. You can't tell people this--they either get scared or pass it off as false modesty. But there's nothing false or modest about it.
Why couldn't Johnny enjoy all the success he had? Because if anyone would save his life, he must be willing to lose it. Because he who labors to be wealthy will not be satisfied with riches. He wound up with a house of full of feasting, but with strife. The college sent me a DVD of the 05 commencement ceremony. I've watched my speech several times while showing it to my doting grandparents and other relatives. I don't like the delivery, but quite frankly I'm astonished at how well I captured the problem and the solution. I think God gave me that message, and I intend to listen to Him. As long as you focus on yourself you will be miserable. Seek first the kingdom of heaven and all these things will be added unto you. Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God though Jesus Christ our Lord! The movie didn't show this, but Johnny Cash did find this grace, and I have too. He didn't just find the right woman, his heart was changed.
I will write two more posts today. In the one I will reprint my speech, along with a scan of the drawing I describe in it. In the other I will muse about my favorite verses in Scripture.

The Gift of Christmas

2005-12-29T07:00:00.000-08:00

The gift I chose for my friends this year was The Big Picture Story Bible. If you didn't get one from me, I highly recommend you track down a copy. It's fun to imagine ya'll reading this to your kids someday and looking at the pictures together, but I didn't just get it for the warm fuzzies. It was written and illustrated for children, but carries an adult understanding of Scripture. It tells Bible stories, but connects them in order to tell the one story of the Bible--the gospel. We need to hear this message again, as much as any child.

God's forever people
will one day
live in God's forever place
under God's forever rule.

Can you believe it?

Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!

Teencamps (2002 message on prayer)

2005-11-21T12:24:00.000-08:00

I have a number of devotionals like this one from the past few years that I'd like to post, but am somewhat lost as to how to go about it. I don't want my whole blog to become a sappy encouragement center or a spiritual thermometer. I quickly lose interest in others' blogs when they walk that ground. Nor do I believe my "talks" are particularly insightful--some God has used, some he hasn't. Perhaps they will be of some benefit to their current readers, but I am certain there is more fertile literature for the mind and soul elsewhere. I will continue to post them, then, as memories.

I’m going to give a short talk tonight, about prayer. I had a hard time deciding what to say, incidentally, precisely because there is so much to say about prayer. I could have read Matthew six, and examined the Lord’s Prayer. I could have turned to Matthew seventeen where Jesus says that if you have so much as a mustard seed of faith you can move mountains. Or, I could have exhorted you to have consistent, regular prayer times, because as it says in James four verse two, you do not have because you do not ask.

All of these are great topics, but I decided to address two other aspects of prayer. Please pay attention, because there is exciting and convicting truth here, and I want you to find it and understand it. First, I’m going to discuss our attitude as we pray. Next, I’d like to challenge you concerning what you pray for. Your attitude as you approach God in prayer, and the content of those prayers.

When you go to God in prayer, understand, please, the privilege of your position. Remember the cross when you pray. It is the basis by which we can have any audience with God. We were dead in trespasses and sins; the objects of God’s wrath. We had no audience with God, because as it says in Proverbs, even the prayers of a wicked man are an abomination to the Lord. God is too holy to look upon sin.

But, because of the gospel, because of the good news that Christ died on the cross, paying the penalty for our sin, because his righteousness was accounted to us, we how have an audience with God. Before we had no hope of receiving blessing from Him, but now God looks on us with joy and pleasure. Now we are invited, no, commanded, to “come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace.” (Hebrews 4:16)

When you pray, be confident; have faith that you are in the presence of God and that He is pleased with you. But do not be proud. There is nothing you have which you did not receive, nothing except the righteousness which was given to you.

The second thing I wanted to challenge you with concerns what you ask God for in prayer. It’s important to ask Him for the right things. If we don’t woe is us if He answers. (I am reminded of Israel, wanting a king, demanding a king, and wishing they hadn’t.)

Turn, please, to Daniel nine. I will read, beginning in verse sixteen.

"O Lord, according to all Your righteousness, I pray, let Your anger and Your fury be turned away from Your city Jerusalem, Your holy mountain; because for our sins, and for the iniquities of our fathers, Jerusalem and Your people are a reproach to all those around us. Now therefore, our God, hear the prayer of Your servant, and his supplications, and for the Lord’s sake cause Your face to shine on Your sanctuary, which is desolate. O my God, incline Your ear and hear; open Your eyes and see our desolations, and the city which is called by Your name; for we do not present our supplications before You because of our righteous deeds, but because of Your great mercies. O Lord, hear! O Lord, forgive! O Lord, listen and act! Do not delay for Your own sake, my God, for Your city and Your people and called by Your name.”

Daniel’s prayer is that God would cause His face to shine on Israel. That he would shine the light of His countenance on His people and bless them.
Israel was experiencing the judgment of God—they were a people conquered and destroyed. Daniel could have prayed for liberty, or the rebuilding of the city walls or the temple. All these would have been legitimate concerns—but instead he prays for the nearness and pleasure of God. You can sum it up by saying that he prayed that Israel would have a right relationship with God.

I urge you, when you pray, to think about what really matters. The condition of your heart. Think deeper than your circumstances, think and pray about how you respond to them. When you pray for yourself or for others, don’t merely ask for changes in the details of the situation, pray that God in his mercy would provide the grace and faith and strength you need to respond as you ought.

In conclusion, we will not become effectual in our praying unless we give attention and preparation to the state of our own hearts and the manner in which we approach God. That has nothing to do with fancy words, education, or religious phrases, but it does have to do with a heart that is seeking God and is concerned with His glory. A mind that is taught by His word.

Preparing this talk today was a challenge for me in this very area. I couldn’t seem to get any thoughts down on paper. (Actually, now that I’ve succeeded in getting them onto the paper, I seem to be having trouble getting them back off and into my mouth so I can share them with you!) At first, I prayed that God would enable me to write quickly, and speak with force and confidence, and to do such a great job that everyone here would be changed forever and… and… 5:00 rolled around and I still didn’t know what I was going to say. I had been sweating and struggling and wrestling with truths and words and ideas that just would not seem to come together.

I was getting nervous. Now what did I pray for? That god would put words on the pad in front of me? That He would enable me to give a spectacular impromptu speech? NO. I fell on my face and prayed, “God, I don’t care whether I look good tonight or not. I just know that You want the truth of Your word to excite and convict tonight, and I pray only that You would accomplish this in spite of me.”

You’ve heard before that you should pray according to the will of God. What does that mean? It means that you do not ask for your own personal glory, but for God’s.

You all have a debate tournament coming up. What are you going to pray for? That you’ll give good speeches? That your opponent will not? :) Whatever you ask of God, be sure to consider your attitude as you approach Him, and take a moment to consider what use you will make of the gift you ask Him for.

Misc. Pictures (because I don't know how to spell the whole word)

2005-11-21T12:06:00.000-08:00

Some of you have seen these before...