Colossians 4:6

"Always talk pleasantly and with a flavor of wit, but be sensitive to the kind of answer each one requires."
-Colossians 4:6, NJB

Normally I'm annoyed by authors and preachers who pick and choose from different translations to find the paraphrase with the most jazz, but for this verse I think the NJB version has it right.

Something I've been trying to get a handle on for a while is how to be bold for Christ without being a loser for Christ. I don't think "Jesus freak" is the answer, nor is simply fitting in. What I've been learning, however, is that the middle path most of us pursue of making our beliefs known then quietly seeking to validate them by doing our job well and being a good Christian is also incomplete. When I pursue this route I find that I am continually slipping into reliance on my performance as a Christian to influence people for Christ. More subtly, I find that I am merely seeking to prove myself, not Christ.

I've been watching another Christian flounder in this area. I exhorted him several weeks ago to be bold for Christ. He told me that we were already the most socially ostracised one in the group, and couldn't afford to dig our holes any deeper. I disagreed. I've been watching him and considering what is it, exactly, that makes him (and I) such outsiders. I think I'm beginning to discover how the fruit of seeking to prove ourselves differs from the fruit of seeking to prove Christ.

My friend knows that no one respects him, but thinks he can solve this by fitting in. He swears profusely, drinks heavily, and buys rounds for everyone at the bar. He knows he's not cool, he knows he can't PT, but has told me that the one thing he has got that people will have to respect him for is his intelligence. He is fixated with his grades. He will sulk for days after receiving a bad grade. He has convinced himself that people will have to respect him if he is number one in academics. He's wrong, of course. I was listening to some Marines tell their glory stories about touchdown runs and vicious tackles, and caught myself longing for a chance to get on the field and show them that I was tough too. Then I remembered my friend's quest for academics. Proving myself on the field would do no more good for me than better grades would do for him. For some reason, no matter how macho or cool I try to be, I'm not going to fit in.

The other Marines despise my friend because they know he is vain and insecure and is just trying to gain their acceptance. They will continue to despise him regardless of how well he does. The only way to gain respect is to stop grasping after it. A Christian's reputation and image are important to the success of the gospel, but he cannot succeed by playing the world's game because he is not of this world. We'll never beat the world at their own game. It's foolish to try to establish ourselves by performing the world's arts of drinking and boasting, because we are representatives of a different set of values.
It seemed at first that there was little difference between seeking the the acceptance and approval of others for yourself and seeking it for Christ and the gospel, but the two are worlds apart. The first leads to the dead end my friend is facing. The other astonishes people as they wonder what it is that has such a hold on us that we would not court their affections like everyone else. Like a hidden fault line, my self-interest reveals its depth and ugliness when I try to out-perform non-believers and fail. This is true even if I'm trying to be a good person, because I don't always have a better attitude than those around me, nor will I ever be the best at my job. When my efforts are geared toward being a good Christian for others to see and admire, my world crumbles. I said earlier that being bold for Christ is more than simply making our beliefs known then quietly validating them by doing our job well and being a good Christian. It is also understanding that we do these things in seeking to please God, not man. This alone sets a distinguishing mark upon our testimony--not that we perform greater acts of love than the world, but that we do it entirely selflessly. We do it out of love, not self-interest. My prayer is that I might discover how to discern a man and answer him wisely, rather than seeking to please him with my answer.

Well, that's all about as clear as mud--I had a pretty good draft, I think, but the computer ate it, and though I wasn't able to gather my thoughts quite as well the second time, I had to say something.something.