Walk the Line
I watched Walk the Line last night. When the curtain fell, I declared to my friends that the movie was awful. No, that's not it. It made me feel "icky." No, that's not quite it either--I felt sick, and I was scared.
Yesterday had been an average day. I had moped around all day bored and depressed. I decided that the worst kind of guilt is not to have done something bad, but to feel incapable of doing anything good. My misery and self-loathing became a burden to my mother. She must be a saint.
The movie made me sick because I felt like I was watching my own life. I don't mean the good older brother and disapproving father--I have both of those, too, but they weren't Johnny's real problem. Walk the Line is the story of a miserable man, who had everything except the ability to be happy. He had screaming fans and a big house, but it was all empty. He hated himself, but was too much enslaved to his passions to change. He was a man with talent, with potential, whose selfishness and pride destroyed him and everyone around him. I haven't done all of the things he did, but I have my own addictions--my own salves to dull the pain. I have the same pride, and the same desire at times to just forget about life for a while.
I hope no one reads this, but then again, I hope someone does. The problem is, I want to think I am somebody. I want to be a man. I want to do something good. But I can't, and God's hand has been heavy on me to bring me to my knees. You can't tell people this--they either get scared or pass it off as false modesty. But there's nothing false or modest about it.
Why couldn't Johnny enjoy all the success he had? Because if anyone would save his life, he must be willing to lose it. Because he who labors to be wealthy will not be satisfied with riches. He wound up with a house of full of feasting, but with strife. The college sent me a DVD of the 05 commencement ceremony. I've watched my speech several times while showing it to my doting grandparents and other relatives. I don't like the delivery, but quite frankly I'm astonished at how well I captured the problem and the solution. I think God gave me that message, and I intend to listen to Him. As long as you focus on yourself you will be miserable. Seek first the kingdom of heaven and all these things will be added unto you. Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God though Jesus Christ our Lord! The movie didn't show this, but Johnny Cash did find this grace, and I have too. He didn't just find the right woman, his heart was changed.
I will write two more posts today. In the one I will reprint my speech, along with a scan of the drawing I describe in it. In the other I will muse about my favorite verses in Scripture.
Yesterday had been an average day. I had moped around all day bored and depressed. I decided that the worst kind of guilt is not to have done something bad, but to feel incapable of doing anything good. My misery and self-loathing became a burden to my mother. She must be a saint.
The movie made me sick because I felt like I was watching my own life. I don't mean the good older brother and disapproving father--I have both of those, too, but they weren't Johnny's real problem. Walk the Line is the story of a miserable man, who had everything except the ability to be happy. He had screaming fans and a big house, but it was all empty. He hated himself, but was too much enslaved to his passions to change. He was a man with talent, with potential, whose selfishness and pride destroyed him and everyone around him. I haven't done all of the things he did, but I have my own addictions--my own salves to dull the pain. I have the same pride, and the same desire at times to just forget about life for a while.
I hope no one reads this, but then again, I hope someone does. The problem is, I want to think I am somebody. I want to be a man. I want to do something good. But I can't, and God's hand has been heavy on me to bring me to my knees. You can't tell people this--they either get scared or pass it off as false modesty. But there's nothing false or modest about it.
Why couldn't Johnny enjoy all the success he had? Because if anyone would save his life, he must be willing to lose it. Because he who labors to be wealthy will not be satisfied with riches. He wound up with a house of full of feasting, but with strife. The college sent me a DVD of the 05 commencement ceremony. I've watched my speech several times while showing it to my doting grandparents and other relatives. I don't like the delivery, but quite frankly I'm astonished at how well I captured the problem and the solution. I think God gave me that message, and I intend to listen to Him. As long as you focus on yourself you will be miserable. Seek first the kingdom of heaven and all these things will be added unto you. Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God though Jesus Christ our Lord! The movie didn't show this, but Johnny Cash did find this grace, and I have too. He didn't just find the right woman, his heart was changed.
I will write two more posts today. In the one I will reprint my speech, along with a scan of the drawing I describe in it. In the other I will muse about my favorite verses in Scripture.
posted by Motokeb at 7:22 AM
1 Comments:
It's ok to be verbose, Brianna, when the post is as insightful as yours was ;-)
Post a Comment
<< Home